


Silence is the Loudest Scream

by WhereverMySITakesMe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Flashbacks, Gen, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), The Avengers are not good at handling mental health, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, brief mention of rape, mentions of vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereverMySITakesMe/pseuds/WhereverMySITakesMe
Summary: No one asks Wanda what she saw, they think she doesn't want to talk about it. She does. She wants to hear, "I can't believe they made you do that" and "Of course we wouldn't!" and "How can I avoid upsetting you like that again?" and "You know it wasn't your fault, right?" and "Do you need a hug, kid?"(yes, she does). She doesn't want her flashbacks, her nightmares, the hours she spends crying, to be something to be tiptoed around and never spoken of directly.





	

Sam stops Wanda in the corridor with a hand in her arm and offers her his services. Has she considered counselling? She might benefit from it and he is qualified. He used to run a group for soldiers suffering from PTSD. She doesn't hear anything after that because Pietro's voice is loud and sarcastic in her head, saying "Oh, the soldiers get therapy. But for the people of Sokovia? Nothing." And it sends a stabbing pain through her heart.

She should probably have found Sam later to say that yes, she would like to give counselling a try, but she was afraid she had offended him by walking off while he was mid sentence.

***

Wanda hit the mats with a thump, knocking the air out of her lungs and leaving her momentarily dazed. Natasha was teaching her how to fight without her powers, just in case (in case of what?) and had somehow knocked her off her feet with what seemed like a simple flick of the wrist. Wanda would have to ask Natasha to do the same move again, slower, so she could learn how to do it and how to prevent it.

  
"Again!" The redhead shouted, offering a hand up. She might have been trying to be encouraging but Wanda heard anger. And that word.

Wanda was standing in the corner of a small stone room looking at the dead man in front of her, still tied to a chair. A good man. A man who cared for his family and tried to support them. That was what Wanda saw in his mind as she crushed the life out of him, using her powers to create a suffocating pressure. She had felt the life drain out of him even more intimately than she would have done if she had strangled him with her bare hands and it made her feel sick in her stomach. She had to lean on the wall for support and her hands were shaking. She killed him. It had been so easy.

"Again!" She knew that word, that tone, from the hours she'd spent practising her powers on inanimate objects until her head ached and she was shaking with exhaustion. He'd already asked once, maybe twice, before while she was lost in her own thoughts and if she didn't do what he wanted he would hit her in the face. And then in the stomach if that didn't work. And then again in the stomach. Then the face. Then they'd drag Pietro out of his cell and start hitting him in front of her until she complies.

  
There's another man in front of her. He's a dead man too, even if he's still breathing.

***  
Natasha understands when she follows Wanda who suddenly sprints to the nearest bathroom to throw up over and over and over. Natasha just pours the young woman a glass of water and says that they're done for the day with a reassuring smile that Wanda doesn't see.

Tony understands when he has to replace the training room door that Wanda blew open because she was too panicked to try to unlock it. He tells her it happens to the best of them and not to worry, but doesn't say what "it" is.

No one asks her what she saw, they think she doesn't want to talk about it. She does. She wants to hear, "I can't believe they made you do that" and "Of course we wouldn't!" and "How can I avoid upsetting you like that again?" and "You know it wasn't your fault, right?" and "Do you need a hug, kid?"(yes, she does). She doesn't want her flashbacks, her nightmares, the hours she spends crying, to be something to be tiptoed around and never spoken of directly.

But among the Avengers, that is how things are. They pass each other in the kitchen or the common room at 3am, pale, bleary eyed, reaching for coffee or whiskey or the TV remote (anything to drown out the silence) or see that someone has not left their room or got out of bed all day and don't say a word so nor does she. The others don't want to hear how she feels about losing her brother or working for HYDRA and they certainly don't want to hear about being penniless in a war zone or that she was raped. They do care for her, she thinks. They just have have a poor way of showing it.


End file.
